Wednesday 26th December

Wednesday
Had a good walk in the local woods then cooked dinner, we had it quite late cos poor old Richie and Caroline had terrible trouble getting to us, the Dartford tunnel was blocked up and it took them hours. They picked Dad up from the hospital (he was allowed out for a couple of hours) and brought him over to us for dinner too.

It was a shame we couldn’t get him but our car is too low and we didn’t think there was any way he could get in and out of it.

After dinner they took hum back and then had to rush off home to pack cos they are off to Budapest for a couple of days. We had been invited to our neighbour for the evening but we were pretty shattered by this time so we lazed about and ate cheese and nibbles instead.

Tuesday
Happy Christmas!

Opened our stockings and presents, I got lots of books and DVDs and loads of toys and clever bits in my stocking. Best prezzie of the day was a stocking filler (always is a stocking filler) Phil had got me nylon fake tattoos for your arms; it covers up my PICC line and looks really good, great fun and very practical.

We had lunch at the Crown as booked, it was such a shame that Dad wasn’t well enough to join us cos it was really good piping hot and plenty of food, the fish was particularly good and I think we’ll be going there again next year!

After lunch we visited Dad in the hospital for a little while and took him his presents and a couple of nice thinks to eat.

Phil’s still reading to me every night in bed and at the moment we are reading “Five Children and It” by E Nesbitt. It’s Victorian of course but has a strangely modern feel in some ways and is very very good indeed, I’d recommend it to anyone who hasn’t read it and who likes children’s books.

Monday
We did a last couple of shopping bits and then went for a bit of a walk at the reservoir, it was the fist day in ages that the weather and my feeling well had coincided so although it was a short walk (we hadn’t realised that they were closing at 2pm) it was really really nice to get out in the woods.

After my afternoon nap we went to the hospital to see Dad. Phil and I had some discussion about this as he didn’t want me to go to the hospital cos I’m so vulnerable to infection while I’m on chemo but Dad was really missing seeing me. In the end we compromised so I stayed in the reception area while Phil went and got Dad and brought him down to me in a wheelchair.

Sunday
Went to Costco and did some shopping for Christmas, although we are going out to a pub on Christmas day we have Richie and Caroline coming to us for Boxing Day. We are cooking salmon and we bought a beautiful side of salmon at Costco as well as cheese and bits for suppers over the festive period.

We also when to the big bookshop that’s nearby and then in the afternoon we did the Tesco shop for all the bits we couldn’t get in Costco. I was amazed at how quiet the shops all were, we hadn’t intended to do quite so much but the shops seemed quieter than even a normal weekend so we just powered through all the stuff we needed to get done.

Saturday 22nd December

Saturday

So much better today! The diarrhoea hasn’t been much of a problem this time (the tablets I got form the hospital are fantastic) and I think that might be why I’ve bounced back more quickly this time.

We were going to do a walk but ended up doing loads of Christmas shopping instead, I did get tired more quickly than normal but other than that I was feeling pretty good.

Friday

Still to cold for a walk and I was still feeling quite tried and horrid although better than Thursday, we are starting to see a pattern emerging. I did go out of the house to buy some porridge and post some Christmas cards (sorry if yours is late but they’ve been sitting on the table ready to post for ages).

Phil went off to St Albans to have the car serviced and spent most of the day at his brother’s place but I still didn’t feel well enough for a long drive.

Thursday

I was half expecting to feel much worse today and I wasn’t disappointed I felt really grungy and exhausted all day and started my period just to add to the misery. Phil went off to London to do some Christmas shopping and I lay about on the sofa napping reading and knitting. I know it’s wimpy and I’ve actually been very lucky with the side effects but the bad days do make you into a wimp. I’m still eating fine though and no sickness so I shouldn’t grumble.

Wednesday

Did a bit of shopping then the district nurse came to disconnect me from the pump and flush the PICC lines. Phil watched so that hopefully he can learn how to do it himself but there’s no rush for that. It’s lovely to be free of the pump.

Tuesday

Didn’t sleep so well but it was the same on the last cycle so I wasn’t o surprised. Phil offered to wake up and read some more to me but he was shattered so it seemed more sensible for me to get up and read for myself and let him get some sleep. Went back to bed at 5am and then slept quite well and ended up having a lie in so didn’t feel too bad.

No bad side effects as yet just the tingly fingers when they get cold mostly. Blood pressure still okay so keeping my fingers crossed on that. We went shopping at lunchtime and managed to get around Matalan and Tesco before I flagged so we went home for lunch followed by an afternoon nap.

In the evening Phil and Richie went into the hospital to see Dad but I didn’t go as I’m still connected to the chemo pump and therefore quite venerable to the cold and to catching anything. Dad was mentally on the ball but still very frail and we aren’t sure if he’ll be out for Christmas.

Monday 17th December

Monday

Up at 6.30 so we could leave at 7 for Sutton; actually left just after 7 and the traffic was horrible so we didn’t get there till about 20 past 9. My blood pressure and all the blood tests were fine so I started the tablets again and had my chemo.

Phil was going to go off and work at Sutton library so I kissed him goodbye only to see him come striding into the ward a short time after. It turns out that Sutton library is closed on Mondays which we didn’t know it’s been Tuesdays up to now. He went off to work in the canteen which was freezing so the poor love was like a block of ice all day.

My chemo drugs arrive at about 1.30 and my chemo regime is quite long so I didn’t get out till about 6ish, the travel home wasn’t so bad although we were both a bit tired by then.

Richie phoned the hospital and Dad was much brighter and more lively but they still don't seem to know why he had the dip on Sunday.

No horrible side effects as yet, just the strange tingling is my hands or face get cold and the muscle spasms in my jaw occasionally which are both a bit disconcerting at first but hardly the end of the world. Fingers crossed that it all stays this good.

Don’t worry if there is a bit of a delay between posts but I did get quite fatigued on the chemo last time and just didn’t have the energy to write.

Sunday

Still slept badly Saturday night but felt better on Sunday, we did shopping and went for a short walk, we only did one circuit in the local woods about a 1 kilometre cos it was too cold to linger.

We had intended to go an see Dad at the hospital in the evening but Richie went in the afternoon and phoned to say that there was no point because he had slept through their visit and he wasn’t even sure Dad knew they we there. The hospital staff seem puzzled as he was quite bright on Friday and Saturday.

In the evening we dressed the Christmas tree which is my favourite part of Christmas. We don’t have a real tree although I’m always torn; I do love the smell of a real tree but I don’t love the needles which seem to stay in the carpet for months and I always feel bad about killing the tree.

We had two quite long power cuts in the evening, luckily as we love candles we were quite well set up but when I went out to see how far the cut extending I fell over the low fence and ended up with bruises all up one leg, no other damage which was a relief. The second power cut was just as we went to bed so we got out the candles again then the had to get up and put out all the lights once the power was restored. As a result we had quite a late night which was a pain as we had to get up early on Monday to get to Marsden for my chemo but we both slept like logs so it wasn’t too bad.

Saturday

We both had some tummy upset in the night and most of the day we had tummy upset and headaches so we didn’t sleep well. We were both tired from such a long day on Friday so we slept in and didn’t do much except a short walk in the local wood. Lazy day but it was what we both needed.

Friday 14th December

Friday

A busy day on Friday; I walked up the steep hill (without stopping I’m glad to say) to the doctor’s surgery and had my BP taken (it was low again) We’d bought a BP monitor in Boots a couple f days earlier and I’m comparing that reading to the one’s the nurses do so hopefully I can keep track of it myself in future.

I walked along the high street; I was hoping to get some stocking fillers for Phil but the shops aren’t that great, then I walked back down the hill and had lunch (delicious homemade veg soup).

After lunch I walked up the hill again and then met Richie on the train and we went in together to see Dad; he was sitting up and looking much better and they are going to try to work out a better care package for him.

Thursday

We told Dad that we wouldn’t be able to go and see him for a couple of days cos Phil was training in Aberystwyth, he drove off mid afternoon and then my friend Sam came over and cooked and we watched films and chatted for the evening. I had my blood pressure taken at the doctors and it had come right down to 110/80 so the new medication is working; of course I’m not taking the drugs which were putting it up either so it will be interesting to see what happens when I’m back on the chemo.

Wednesday

Decided to make the most of my chemo break so we went for a good long walk at the reservoir walked for nearly an hour it was very cold and the puddles were covered in ice but so long as we kept walking we were warm as toast. I think the fresh air and exercise did us both good.

Just as we were finishing the walk we got a call that Dad was being admitted to hospital and that they were sending and ambulance for him in an hour or so. We had some lunch back home then went on to the hospital in the afternoon. Once we saw the doctor in the hospital she was able to reassure us that things weren’t as bad as the first message we had mostly it seemed that Dad had got his medication mixed up and hadn’t been taking his thyroxine.

Richie came up a bit later and we went home because we were shattered. Still it was a good thing in the end that I hadn’t had my chemo on Tuesday because I wouldn’t have been fit to go into the hospital to see Dad if I had.

Tuesday 11th December

Tuesday

What a day! We had stayed at my friend Gaye overnight cos Phil was working in London and it’s easy to get from her house to the Marsden. Which reminds me that I must tell you about this lovely lady who emailed Phil after my first blog (she normally reads his blog and is had followed a link to this one). Anyway this lady who we had never met wrote to say that if we needed to stay overnight for any Marsden visit she would put us up as she lives in a nearby village. See… I keep telling you how wonderful people are and here is a fantastic example! She’s a librarian and they are often good people but even so I was blown away by such kindness. Not sure when I’ll need to take her up on her offer but it’s such a relief to know that the option is there if we need it.

Anyhow after that digression; back to Tuesday Phil went off to the train and Gaye had rearranged her first meeting so that she could drive me in to the Marsdan (I did offer to get a taxi, honest!). At the hospital they did the line flushing blood tests ECG etc and then at about 11.30 broke the news that as my blood pressure was 158 they couldn’t do the chemo. The Doctor explained that high BP was a known and common side effect for both of the trial drugs which makes sense of why the protocol is so strict on this issue.

So I’m on a break period from all the chemo drugs and now taking Amlodipine &.Bisoprolol Fumarate so hopefully this will work, he said they often have to prescribe a combination of drugs to keep the BP down and there are still other which can be added to the mix if needed. So I collected my drugs, had a bit of lunch and then took the bus back to Gaye’s house to wait for Phil.

In the meantime poor old Phil was having huge problems; the trains were totally cocked up so that although he left Gaye’s house well before 8am it took nearly 3 hours for him to finally get to his destination.

Once he finished his course and finally got back Gaye cooked us dinner before we set of back home so that was nice.

I don’t need to have my BP taken again till Thursday/Friday so fingers crossed that the new tablets work. I’m also going to look at cutting down on my salt intake to see if that can help, generally I eat a pretty healthy diet so it’s difficult to see what I can do the improve the situation by diet/exercise as evidenced by the fact I’ve never had a high BP reading before. If all is well I go back for chemo on Monday, sop fingers crossed.

Monday 10th December

Monday

Blood pressure was okay when the nurse checked it so fingers crossed that I don’t have to take any other drugs.

Dad had left his pills and some other stuff at the hospital so we drove there and took them back to him, he’s still not very well but we are limited in what we can do to help as I have my chemo tomorrow.

I went to the hairdresser to have my hair washed and blow-dried then Phil took me to the library as I’m rather wolfing my way through the books at the moment. We are seeing friends this evening then ready for tomorrow and my next chemo session.

Sunday

Had a bit of a lie in then did some odds and ends in the morning. Then we got a call that Dad was ill and was being taken to hospital in an ambulance, Phil’s brother Richie was going to travel up to Southend Hospital to be with Dad and to find out what was happening then his wife was ill (I tell you the Bradley family is falling to bits!!) Phil went to the hospital but left me at home cos I still have a cold and didn’t want to catch anything that might interfere with my next chemo session.

They didn’t keep Dad in just gave him some treatment (you really really don’t want to know the details I promise you) and then sent him home so Phil got back early evening quite tired and stressed as you can imagine.

I dug out some wool and needles and I’m trying to remember how to knit, I’ll start of with a scarf which should be simple enough even for me and see if I enjoy it.

Anyway Caroline Richie’s wife is okay now, Dad is home and a bit better and Phil is recovering from all the driving around.

Saturday 8th December

Slept well but stayed in bed late having snuggly cuddles with Phil; we both felt very lazy and didn’t get up till late morning. The weather was horrid so we couldn’t do any sort of walk. We went shopping for food for the next few days and even in the short distance between car and shop we got cold and wet.

I was coughing as soon as the cold hit me and feeling a bit coldy so we rushed home and stayed in the warm for the rest of the day.

I cooked a huge pot of soup with the rest of the tomatoes and onions we bought earlier in the week. I was a bit lazy and used a pack of frozen veg rather than buying all fresh as this cut down a little on the washing and chopping that I needed to do. I like home made vegetable soup and Dad loves it too so I’ll give him some of the frozen packs and have the rest for lunches over the next few weeks.

We watched Everton get 3 goals on Match of the Day, WAY TO GO EVERTON!!!

Still had the sniffles when we went to bed; Phil is in the middle of reading The Valley of Adventure now and we had hot chocolate with my reading.

Friday 7th December

I know I’ve been remiss with posting during the last week but I was pretty tired with the chemo and mostly didn’t have the energy. A couple of friend have been in touch who were worried about me so I thought I’d just put up a note to say don’t worry if theres a bit of a gap as it probably just means that I’m either a bit wiped by the chemo for those days or too busy to fit it in.

Friday

Saw the nurse in the morning which was good cos it got it out of the way, also the blood pressure level was down to just below the trigger point so that’s a relief. It also means I don’t have to worry about having it taken over the weekend. After lunch we went to the reservoir for a long walk; it was too cold to stop and sit but we walked for nearly and hour so I reckon we did at least 3 kilometres and I was fine.

I had an afternoon nap and then we went out to see Dad for a couple of hours; he still isn’t well. I feel bad that we can’t do more for him but my situation makes it difficult for us to give him the support he deserves. I know he understands and doesn’t blame us but it’s still a great shame that we can’t be there for him when he needs us.

One of Dad’s neighbours is a lovely lady called Valda who pops in to see him every day and generally keeps an eye on him, she’s been fantastic and I don’t know what we would have done without her.

In the evening we watched the last of the Tudors series, I really enjoyed the series but did anyone else think it ended rather abruptly?

Thursday

Yesterday at Costco we bought a huge tray of tomatoes and loads of onions so I spent the morning peeling and chopping and made an enormous pot full of basic tomato sauce. We can freeze it and then use it over the next couple of months as the basis of chillies, pasta sauces and soups. Even with the vast industrial sized pot I have I wasn’t able to use all of the tomatoes so hopefully I’ll do another pot in the next few days. Hot and sweaty but very satisfying!

I had a Reiki session after lunch in the hope it would bring my blood pressure level down but unfortunately it was still a little high so I have to go to the nurse again Friday. I did get my flu jab though.

Highlight of the evening was Bones which is one of my favourite programmes.

I know I’ve been remiss with posting during the last week but I was pretty tired with the chemo and mostly didn’t have the energy. A couple of friend have been in touch who were worried about me so I thought I’d just put up a note to say don’t worry if theres a bit of a gap as it probably just means that I’m either a bit wiped by the chemo for those days or too busy to fit it in.

Friday

Saw the nurse in the morning which was good cos it got it out of the way, also the blood pressure level was down to just below the trigger point so that’s a relief. It also means I don’t have to worry about having it taken over the weekend. After lunch we went to the reservoir for a long walk; it was too cold to stop and sit but we walked for nearly and hour so I reckon we did at least 3 kilometres and I was fine.

I had an afternoon nap and then we went out to see Dad for a couple of hours; he still isn’t well. I feel bad that we can’t do more for him but my situation makes it difficult for us to give him the support he deserves. I know he understands and doesn’t blame us but it’s still a great shame that we can’t be there for him when he needs us.

One of Dad’s neighbours is a lovely lady called Valda who pops in to see him every day and generally keeps an eye on him, she’s been fantastic and I don’t know what we would have done without her.

Thursday

Yesterday at Costco we bought a huge tray of tomatoes and loads of onions so I spent the morning peeling and chopping and made an enormous pot full of basic tomato sauce. We can freeze it and then use it over the next couple of months as the basis of chillies, pasta sauces and soups. Even with the vast industrial sized pot I have I wasn’t able to use all of the tomatoes so hopefully I’ll do another pot in the next few days. Hot and sweaty but very satisfying!

I had a Reiki session after lunch in the hope it would bring my blood pressure level down but unfortunately it was still a little high so I have to go to the nurse again Friday. I did get my flu jab though.

Highlight of the evening was Bones which is one of my favourite programmes.

Wednesday 5th December

Wednesday

Much better today, the diarrhoea medicine worked almost instantly which was quite a relief as you can imagine. Blood pressure still up a bit so needed to double the dose on those tabs and have it taken again. I’d been hoping to go into work for a meeting/Christmas lunch with my Health and Safety buddies but the timing wouldn’t work out with my nurse’s appointment so I had to blow them out again. We did go to Costco after lunch and I managed to walk around the store which was better than I’ve been for days.

One of the few positive thing about the blood pressure thing is I get to see my surgery nurses again; they are both really sweet and kind. I got to know them when they were changing my dressings after my operation and they’ve both shown a genuine interest in how I’m getting on. In fact I’m very lucky because as well as being treated at the Marsden my GP surgery is very good, in addition to the nurses who I’ve already mentioned the receptionists are helpful and one doctor in particular is fantastic. She’s the one who referred me originally and she always seems prepared to put herself out for me without making me feel bad about it. I’ve never had much to do with the GP surgery before and I’ve been pleasantly surprised at how helpful and flexible they are whenever I need anything out of the ordinary.

Tuesday

Visiting the hospital today for checks on how I’m doing one week into treatment I was a bit worried how the journey would be with the tummy problems but I was okay in the end and we made it there okay. Everything seemed okay till they took my blood pressure which was higher than it should be. Now because of the clinical trial I’m on there are strict protocols to be followed, they took it again an hour later, it was quite a bit lower bit still about guidelines so they gave me some tablets for it and I had to have it taken again the following day. I was really worried this would mean travelling out to Sutton again but they said I could have it done at my own surgery then phone in the results. Gill my clinical nurse is really good and went through everything with me the doctor also gave me stuff for the diarrhoea.

The journey home was something akin to a nightmare! We hadn’t expected to be so long at the hospital and hadn’t taken any cash with us so we didn’t have lunch; in fact Phil hadn’t had anything to eat all day. Just to put a final cap on the day the traffic which had been really clear on the way in was blocked solid and it took about 2.5 hours to get home by which time we were both shattered.

Early night and hope for a better day tomorrow.

Monday

Bit better today; still had stomach problems but not quite as bad as the weekend and a little more energy. I was supposed to be going to the office party in London on Monday evening but there wasn’t any way I was fit to travel there so I had to give it a miss. We did go out to the library but the weather wasn’t good enough for a walk.

Sunday

Still had bad diarrhoea and I was feeling so tired I went back to bed after breakfast for the rest of the morning. We did manage a quick walk in the afternoon but that was about it for me and I just lounged around for the rest of the day this was the worst day so far.

Saturday 1st December

Diarrhea very bad in the morning so I was feeling rather sorry for myself, apart from anything else it's quite tiring and draining. Still it was a bit better after lunch and we did manage a quick walk in the woods.

We then went to the supermarket I got a bit tired and ended up back at the car but at least I got out of the house for a while. still feeling a bit delicate in the evening so I lounged like a lady of leisure on the sofa while Phil ran around after me.

Friday 30th November 20067

Still sleeping fairly well and I needed to get up early anyway because the district nurse was coming to disconnect me from the chemo pump and flush the PICC lines. Phil was out training but Sam one of my best buddies came over for lunch and then took me out to Hobbycraft for a spot of retail therapy. Then we vegged out in front of a christmassy DVD (The Polar Express) until Phil got home.feeling tired so we went to bed and I watched another DVD till sleepy time.

Still fairly lucky with the chemo side effects although the diarrhea has got worse Friday evening (I know - TOO MUCH INFORMATION )

Take care everyone and stay happy.
Yours Jill

Thursday 29th November 2007

Slept much better on Wednesday so we got up earlier to have more of the winter daylight. Managed to shower all by myself which sounds pathetic but you need to learn the best way to do it with a PICC line and and especially when you are attached to a pump.

We had lunch then went for a 3 kilometer walk in Norsey woods; we kept to the flat easy walk as it was the first time and Phil made very sure I stayed well wrapped up. Home for an hours nap then we went off for an hour or two to see Dad, he wasn't looking at all well but he'd had the doctor in and the district nurse in twice so he's being well looked after. I wish we could do more but he understands the situation and is being very good about everything.

We were both very tired when we got home, Phil said he would have blamed the chemo for my tiredness except he was almost as bad . Supper, then we watched the latest episode of Bones and had an early night, Phil did read me a chapter of the Castle of Adventure though.

Still feeling pretty good and positive about the treatment.

Yours
Jill

Welcome to the new weblog

Welcome to my new weblog, some of you will have followed the link in my last email and you can skip the next section because you already know all of this stuff but to put the entries in context for anyone new I though I’d do a quick recap of the situation I find myself and recent events leading up my starting this weblog.

I was diagnosed with bowel cancer in July 2007 and the surgeon operated to remove the main tumour on 2^nd August. The operation went well and I recovered quite quickly but subsequent events provided the roller coaster which is in the title of this weblog. The biopsy results came back negative but later scans showed that I did have metastatic (secondary) tumours in my liver, in both lobes and too spread to be operable. This took a number of scans so it all dragged on a bit. I was offered chemotherapy at my local hospital and also the chance to go on a clinical trial they were running. I did some research and discovered a different clinical trial being run at the Marden which I though I would be suitable for and asked to be referred, this meant more scans which unhappily showed that I also had some very small metastic tumours in my lung so I couldn’t do the BOXER trail; however they were able to offer me another trial they have just started running.

I had my first chemotherapy session at the Marsden yesterday 27^th November 2007.

Anyhow this may seem an odd thing say after the previous paragraphs but I’m a very lucky bunny indeed; I have the most fantastic and supportive husband who ever was, a very supportive and loving family and loads of wonderful friends who are all rooting for me. Also I’m being treated at probably the best Cancer specialist hospital in the world and therefore have access to first class treatment and wonderful staff.

We’ve been sending out intermittent update emails to friends and relatives but now I’ve started treatment I though I would set up this weblog to follow my daily progress so that anyone who is interested could drop and for updates whenever they fell inclined.

Here is a flavour of this weekso far:

Monday 26^th November – Phil drove us to Sutton for all my blood tests and the form filling in, we were finished by about 3ish and went on to the B&B we had booked locally. Normally we will probably just drive home but as I had 2 days at the hospital staying in Sutton seemed the best option. Poor old Phil stayed in the B&B except for popping out for a quick supper but I travelled in to London for Marita’s leaving dinner. It was a posh restaurant in Chelsea and I really enjoyed a chance to catch up with people I hadn’t seen for ages. I travelled back to Sutton on the train and it was very freaky because we used to live in the same road as the B&B for about 15 years when we were first married.

Tuesday 27^th November – First day of chemotherapy and I was very nervous, Phil was working in London running a training course so he walked down to Sutton Station and I got a taxi to the hospital; he had wanted to cancel the course but I was perfectly happy on my own for the day so I persuaded him that it wasn’t necessary and in retrospect it was exactly the right decision. First I had the PICC line inserted which was the most pleasant sensation but was over fairly quickly, then an x-ray to make sure it was in the right place. More ECGs and samples to take then waiting for the chemo drugs to be ready. On the drip with one drug or another from 1pm till 5.45 but I was lucky that I didn’t feel sick or nauseous at all, also lucky that I’m not squeamish about needles at all. I have to say that the staff at the Marsden are all fantastic, so friendly and patient but also you can sense how dedicated they are and how thoroughly they know their subject which gives the patients great confidence. Phil came to pick my up and we left at about 6ish. We drove home, takeaway supper then bed. I did find it hard to sleep with the pump whirling away but eventually dropped off at about 3ish and then slept through till 9.30.

Wednesday 28^th November – The district nurse came and changed the dressing on my PICC line. Then we had the big outing of the day to Tesco Supermarket, (see how exciting life if when you are having chemo ). Actually I shouldn’t complain because I’ve had only minimal side effects and no nausea at all which is really great.

Then this afternoon I had a real treat, I lay with my head in Phil’s lap while he read to me and then had a nap on his lap, it was amazingly relaxing (I think I could hire him out for stressed executives). Anyway so far so good and I’ll write another update in a day or two.